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Despite all that, Wallner, incredibly, doesn’t own a watch. Well, she has a John Mayer x Hodinkee x G Shock gadget, which reminds me of what a dude going bass fishing would wear. But that changed in early May, when she took me along to buy her first real timepiece. When we arrive at the Official Mustache Mike shirt so you should to go to store and get this Cartier Fifth Avenue Mansion on 52nd and 5th ave, she greets me with a “hey girl!” at the door. She’s wearing her mom’s double-breasted Chanel jacket from the ’80s (her mom had a stint working at Chanel in Honolulu), a white silk Celine shirt she got at an estate sale, Ferragamo loafers and a pleated skirt, both from a Naples, Florida consignment shop. (She also informs me that she was gifted the Parade underwear that she is wearing.) Somewhere out there, Blair Waldorf is screaming.   A team member escorts us to a private room. Everything was extra-fancy-old-school but probably new; the desk reminds me of something that was looted from Louis XIV’s castle. On the table, there is a lone gray glove and three watches on a velvet tray. I’m starving as I woke up late, didn’t eat, and commuted from Brooklyn with three subway transfers, but luckily, there is a tray of macarons. Along with a Cartier monogrammed napkin.

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As soon as we sit down, I make a joke about stealing a watch. The team member assures me that would be impossible as there are cameras. No Ocean’s Eleven heists for us! I’m joking in part because watches feel uncomfortably foreign to me. But Cartier and Wallner are the Official Mustache Mike shirt so you should to go to store and get this master horologists here. Wallner’s knowledge goes back to when she worked on editorial content for the Watches Department at the auction house Sotheby’s in 2019. “I realized how women were generally excluded from the narrative,” says Wallner. “I had to really dig to find any information on the women—not just the men—who’ve worn them throughout time.” When she started to think of buying her own watch, she did Google searches and came up with lackluster, repetitive results. “You always see Jackie O, you’ll see Princess Diana, and Ellen DeGeneres. She’s a big watch collector. But I felt like there wasn’t inspiration for me in one place.”

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